here is the link to the website i made in college. it is a work in progress
http://pages.pomona.edu/%7Ejgv02000/chart1.htm
Monday, February 28, 2005
progress
In my class at the Accelerated School, we have been doing mid-year assesments. It is amazing to see how much some of the kids have progressed. In the fall, Neftaly, one of the boys in the class, was reading only 80% at a mid 1st grade level. His comprehension and phonics was way behind. Now, he is reading 98% at mid-2nd grade level. There are a few other kids for whom these dramatic improvements are also true.
It is incredible how much of this kind of progress can be attributed to the teacher(s). Many of these kids do not get English support at home, much less in the kind of phonics and fluency practice that many well-educated families re-inforce their kids with.
Spring is coming, and it definitely feels like it in the way our 2nd graders are emerging and growing. I am blessed to be a part of it. I will miss them a lot when the school year is over. I will have learned so much from working with them.
It is incredible how much of this kind of progress can be attributed to the teacher(s). Many of these kids do not get English support at home, much less in the kind of phonics and fluency practice that many well-educated families re-inforce their kids with.
Spring is coming, and it definitely feels like it in the way our 2nd graders are emerging and growing. I am blessed to be a part of it. I will miss them a lot when the school year is over. I will have learned so much from working with them.
our times
I was listening to Radio Pacifica this morning.
By June, we will quite possibly have bombed Iran. There will have been so serious diplomacy. We want regime change becasue we will not forget the overthrow of the Shah in 1979 and we will not accept a theocracy in an oil rich country that is not friendly to us. Neo-conservatives have co-opted the Congress and there is no way that we as citizens could stop the war-mongers from pushing forward their global militaristic adventure. A constant threat of terrorism abroad will stupify the American public into passively accepting the devestating domestic agenda that Bush & Co. are tring to enact. 'War is Peace.' Lawmakers are hog-tied, because any vote against the Patriot Act (which gave Bush sweeping powers to move against any defined enemy and disregard for the Constitution) would by defenition be unpatriotic. They dont understand Iran, they dont understand what the outcome will be, how complex the issues are...just as they did not understand or prepare for it in Iraq. And the American public will stand dumbly by as we recklessly devestate another people, and make the world less safe and less peaceful. Almost all of George Bush's cabinet have ties to the defense industry. They make money off guns, wars, contracts, nuclear energy-- violence.
Who will regard the character of our times? Who will smell what is in the air, and PROPHESY?
By June, we will quite possibly have bombed Iran. There will have been so serious diplomacy. We want regime change becasue we will not forget the overthrow of the Shah in 1979 and we will not accept a theocracy in an oil rich country that is not friendly to us. Neo-conservatives have co-opted the Congress and there is no way that we as citizens could stop the war-mongers from pushing forward their global militaristic adventure. A constant threat of terrorism abroad will stupify the American public into passively accepting the devestating domestic agenda that Bush & Co. are tring to enact. 'War is Peace.' Lawmakers are hog-tied, because any vote against the Patriot Act (which gave Bush sweeping powers to move against any defined enemy and disregard for the Constitution) would by defenition be unpatriotic. They dont understand Iran, they dont understand what the outcome will be, how complex the issues are...just as they did not understand or prepare for it in Iraq. And the American public will stand dumbly by as we recklessly devestate another people, and make the world less safe and less peaceful. Almost all of George Bush's cabinet have ties to the defense industry. They make money off guns, wars, contracts, nuclear energy-- violence.
Who will regard the character of our times? Who will smell what is in the air, and PROPHESY?
I have learned that I can get up in the morning and drive to work and expect to invest myself in the same challenging work every day-- and i can do it with joy. I can do my work and serve my students as if unto the Lord. This is what i needed to know, as the weeks go by. I can rejoice that the work i am doing will come to an end when its season is over, that there will be others to fill my role, that the kids i am invested in will grow even more when I am gone, and that the structures i leave will recieve no less attention from God.
My prayer is that God would take what belongs to him. That he would take my work, my efforts, my time. That he would take (re-claim) the lives of his children in South Central, NW Pas, SE Pas.....Re-claim what has been taken by a lying and abusive world.
If God is God, then he will take what is his. And if he is going to do that, then I dont have reason to worry.
There is much i want to do in ministry, in community. But there is also much I am not ready for. Waiting is a spritual discipline, a holy act....I will find something new of the Lord in it.
God will build an everlasting kingdom on the foundation of poverty. Poverty and emptiness.....longing and mourning. Praise God, becasue really, this is all we have.
My prayer is that God would take what belongs to him. That he would take my work, my efforts, my time. That he would take (re-claim) the lives of his children in South Central, NW Pas, SE Pas.....Re-claim what has been taken by a lying and abusive world.
If God is God, then he will take what is his. And if he is going to do that, then I dont have reason to worry.
There is much i want to do in ministry, in community. But there is also much I am not ready for. Waiting is a spritual discipline, a holy act....I will find something new of the Lord in it.
God will build an everlasting kingdom on the foundation of poverty. Poverty and emptiness.....longing and mourning. Praise God, becasue really, this is all we have.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
worship, Tupac, pizza and throwing ice
Last night was the end of the month NWN youth worship and fellowship time. It went really well, and we all had a lot of fun at round table after.
On the ride home, as Sara and I drag raced with our cars full of youth down Fair Oaks, the girls in Michelle's van rolled up and threw ice into our passenger side window. The rest of the ride home was a frenzied "ice war" with half melted chips of ice flying across the lanes and into open windows.....
After a while, I put an end to that. But i have to admit, it was fun.
Thinking back on the last time we all had a fellowship time at Round Table, I am so grateful for all God has done and shown me in the neighborhood this last 6 months. I often lament that I have not done enough or taken enough initiative--things i need to work on, but i am beginning to feel more a part of the community, more a part of these boys' lives. When we are all together like last night, it makes me feel like i wish that this could be a full time job.....
i will defenitely try to post up more of my thoughts on this....
one of the best things about last night was talking with Josue, a 6th grader from across the street. This was his first NWN event outside of bible club, and he really liked it. As I talked to him, i was thinking "I would love to mentor this kid" I can see a lot of potential in him since i first met him last month. Him and his brother Victor and Marcos from down the block are the guys that i want to become more involved with.
On the ride home, as Sara and I drag raced with our cars full of youth down Fair Oaks, the girls in Michelle's van rolled up and threw ice into our passenger side window. The rest of the ride home was a frenzied "ice war" with half melted chips of ice flying across the lanes and into open windows.....
After a while, I put an end to that. But i have to admit, it was fun.
Thinking back on the last time we all had a fellowship time at Round Table, I am so grateful for all God has done and shown me in the neighborhood this last 6 months. I often lament that I have not done enough or taken enough initiative--things i need to work on, but i am beginning to feel more a part of the community, more a part of these boys' lives. When we are all together like last night, it makes me feel like i wish that this could be a full time job.....
i will defenitely try to post up more of my thoughts on this....
one of the best things about last night was talking with Josue, a 6th grader from across the street. This was his first NWN event outside of bible club, and he really liked it. As I talked to him, i was thinking "I would love to mentor this kid" I can see a lot of potential in him since i first met him last month. Him and his brother Victor and Marcos from down the block are the guys that i want to become more involved with.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
point taken
ok i edited the error in my last Blog.
Thank you for exposing my egregious error, and from now on I will make sure that all my posts are G-rated.
Thank you for exposing my egregious error, and from now on I will make sure that all my posts are G-rated.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
me and Jorge (8th grader on my block) are going to go into business. I was looking at hip hop Tshirts online, and he got all excited about the idea of making our own shirts. He has not stopped talking to me about it since Friday. Our flagship product is going to be a plain tshirt with Jesus on it wearing Loc sunglasses and a big shimmering medallion with the diamond-studded letters "NWN" (for Northwest Neighbors)
We will also have an athletic-style shirt with a big 05 in the middle, "Northwest Neighbors" on top and 'Crown City's Finest' on the bottom.
i think Jesus would be down.
Today I went back to work. I am sick of this rain.
We will also have an athletic-style shirt with a big 05 in the middle, "Northwest Neighbors" on top and 'Crown City's Finest' on the bottom.
i think Jesus would be down.
Today I went back to work. I am sick of this rain.
Monday, February 21, 2005
cultura
i was talking to Rob last night about LA history.
We talked about how LA is a city whose history, in some ways, has yet to be written-- because it is still very live, very much going on right now.
There has yet to be established a coherent civic culture, a mythological past like that of New York, Boston, Chicago..
one thing that i think we will see in the next 20 years is the 'coming of age' of the Latino immigrant community. I think this will be one of the most significant events in shaping the city's future. The amazing thing about Latino LA is that it re-invents itself every couple of generations-depending on the prevailing social conditions. It is in constant flux. In the 30s and 40s, there was large scale immigration leading to the creation of the first large post-immigration barrios.....the children of these immigrants were born in these barrios, and contributed to the formation of these places as cultural homelands in the collective Mex-Am psyche. They were the first to go to college, to participate in the walkouts, the civil rights movement, to move out of East LA and into the suburbs ot the east. Just at the children of earlier immigrants grew up to be the Zoot Suiters and WWII vets, the children of the next immigrant wave became the civil rights leaders, budding middle class, gang members, Chicanos...
Now, what I think will happen in the next couple generations is that South LA will actually come to challenge East LA's hegemony as Chicano/Immigrant cultural center. When the children of South LA gorw up and come into their own, they will be in a position, i think, to really change the face of the Latino culture of the city, as well as its power structure. Of course, this all depends on what kinds of conditions they have to work in. South LA is not East LA. In many ways, South LA is a de-centralized wasteland-- no identifiable cultural centers, gathering places, infrastructure-just and endless sprawl of residential and sweatshops. a growing cadre of young, UC educated minorities are pouring resources into the community, teaching, heading non-profits, etc., on the upside.
But another thing that makes it dificult is that the powers that be have a strong grip and a vested interest in the current layout of many parts of south LA. It is not just a blighted, marginal residential area that can be shrugged off as a containment for the non-white working class (As east la was) Rather, South LA is a dynamic third-world economic vortex....where capital from many differient tiers of ethnic and economic power (Korean, Japanese, white..) are invested in the dirty little shameful indutries (namely, the textile industry) that empower the business elite.
Also, the Latino community is becoming increasingly mixed, with many central americans establishing communities alongside Mexican. I would not be surprised if in 30 years the UCs have well established Central American Studies Departments.
This is strange for me to think about, becasue I am decended from and influenced by the intellectual heritage of 1.) the civil rights era Chicano movement, which first established a vocabulary, cultural lexicon, ethnic mythology and hybrid identidy...they were the ones who built Chicano studies, who challenged the school system, who wrote the first generation of influential texts and studies that we 20 and 30-somethings now all cite as classics in our college classrooms. My dad was at the tail end of this generation...the generation of Corky Gonzalez, the Plan de Aztlan, and Yo Soy Joaquin. They gave us the name Chicano and Aztlan. They actually expereinced the discrimination and racism in its worst forms. 2.) The second group I claim heritage from are the 20 and 30-something "2nd generation' intellectuals who came of age in and pioneered the Postmodern shift in multicultural studies in the 1980s. They were the kids, the ones who had not known the struggles of their mothers and fathers, but still had a sharp taste for justice. They took shit to the next level. They took all the classics, the Civil Rights era stuff,and went more radical with it. They are the originators of 'intersecting systems of oppression' of post-civil rights post-modern theory...Xicana Feminists, Queer Theorists, Neo Marxists, etc. They deepened the body of work that the Old School had left us with, and were not shy about critiquing the shortcomings of the previous generation. They brought "critical thrid-world theory" and "feminist deconstructivism" to the table. They tore apart the Chicano Power movement and re-built it along Postmodern lines. They are Gloria Anzaldua, Ana Castillo, Ramon Gutierrez and many others. My professors who had the most influence on me incollege were all from this gereration of intellectuals - April Mayes, Deena Gonzalez, Gilda Ochoa, Tanalis Padilla....all of these young Pomona profs to whom I am greatly indebted.
anyway, just some thoughts.
Its interesting to think of how the kids in NWN and their children will identify themselves culturally.
We talked about how LA is a city whose history, in some ways, has yet to be written-- because it is still very live, very much going on right now.
There has yet to be established a coherent civic culture, a mythological past like that of New York, Boston, Chicago..
one thing that i think we will see in the next 20 years is the 'coming of age' of the Latino immigrant community. I think this will be one of the most significant events in shaping the city's future. The amazing thing about Latino LA is that it re-invents itself every couple of generations-depending on the prevailing social conditions. It is in constant flux. In the 30s and 40s, there was large scale immigration leading to the creation of the first large post-immigration barrios.....the children of these immigrants were born in these barrios, and contributed to the formation of these places as cultural homelands in the collective Mex-Am psyche. They were the first to go to college, to participate in the walkouts, the civil rights movement, to move out of East LA and into the suburbs ot the east. Just at the children of earlier immigrants grew up to be the Zoot Suiters and WWII vets, the children of the next immigrant wave became the civil rights leaders, budding middle class, gang members, Chicanos...
Now, what I think will happen in the next couple generations is that South LA will actually come to challenge East LA's hegemony as Chicano/Immigrant cultural center. When the children of South LA gorw up and come into their own, they will be in a position, i think, to really change the face of the Latino culture of the city, as well as its power structure. Of course, this all depends on what kinds of conditions they have to work in. South LA is not East LA. In many ways, South LA is a de-centralized wasteland-- no identifiable cultural centers, gathering places, infrastructure-just and endless sprawl of residential and sweatshops. a growing cadre of young, UC educated minorities are pouring resources into the community, teaching, heading non-profits, etc., on the upside.
But another thing that makes it dificult is that the powers that be have a strong grip and a vested interest in the current layout of many parts of south LA. It is not just a blighted, marginal residential area that can be shrugged off as a containment for the non-white working class (As east la was) Rather, South LA is a dynamic third-world economic vortex....where capital from many differient tiers of ethnic and economic power (Korean, Japanese, white..) are invested in the dirty little shameful indutries (namely, the textile industry) that empower the business elite.
Also, the Latino community is becoming increasingly mixed, with many central americans establishing communities alongside Mexican. I would not be surprised if in 30 years the UCs have well established Central American Studies Departments.
This is strange for me to think about, becasue I am decended from and influenced by the intellectual heritage of 1.) the civil rights era Chicano movement, which first established a vocabulary, cultural lexicon, ethnic mythology and hybrid identidy...they were the ones who built Chicano studies, who challenged the school system, who wrote the first generation of influential texts and studies that we 20 and 30-somethings now all cite as classics in our college classrooms. My dad was at the tail end of this generation...the generation of Corky Gonzalez, the Plan de Aztlan, and Yo Soy Joaquin. They gave us the name Chicano and Aztlan. They actually expereinced the discrimination and racism in its worst forms. 2.) The second group I claim heritage from are the 20 and 30-something "2nd generation' intellectuals who came of age in and pioneered the Postmodern shift in multicultural studies in the 1980s. They were the kids, the ones who had not known the struggles of their mothers and fathers, but still had a sharp taste for justice. They took shit to the next level. They took all the classics, the Civil Rights era stuff,and went more radical with it. They are the originators of 'intersecting systems of oppression' of post-civil rights post-modern theory...Xicana Feminists, Queer Theorists, Neo Marxists, etc. They deepened the body of work that the Old School had left us with, and were not shy about critiquing the shortcomings of the previous generation. They brought "critical thrid-world theory" and "feminist deconstructivism" to the table. They tore apart the Chicano Power movement and re-built it along Postmodern lines. They are Gloria Anzaldua, Ana Castillo, Ramon Gutierrez and many others. My professors who had the most influence on me incollege were all from this gereration of intellectuals - April Mayes, Deena Gonzalez, Gilda Ochoa, Tanalis Padilla....all of these young Pomona profs to whom I am greatly indebted.
anyway, just some thoughts.
Its interesting to think of how the kids in NWN and their children will identify themselves culturally.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
travels
Friday night I was in Claremont babysitting
Saturday, I drove to Alhambra and Montebello
Today, I went to Griffith Park at 10 am, and hiked from the entrance up to the top of a large hill overlooking the golf course and a view of the whole city. This is truly a hidden treasure in the heart of the city. It was so peaceful and beautiful up there, and my time was well spent.
After that, I came down and drove down to Melrose Ave. in Hollywood, where my time (and money) was not as well spent.
I was captivated by all the trendy, chic, hipster shops that line the street, and I was hypnotized into consumerism. I bought 2 t shirts and a beanie. Which were all pretty expensive.
I am still disappointed in myself. I realize that materialism is one of my weaknesses. I dont need a lot of things, but i often really crave a few things that will present an image to the world around me that i put a lot of my identity into.
Not good, Jacob
I concluded that I need to stop going to places where I know I will be tempted by image, consumerism and 'coolness'
I want to spend my money wisely, and when I am by myself in places like Hollywood, Echo Park, Silverlake.....I am not apt to do so.
Saturday, I drove to Alhambra and Montebello
Today, I went to Griffith Park at 10 am, and hiked from the entrance up to the top of a large hill overlooking the golf course and a view of the whole city. This is truly a hidden treasure in the heart of the city. It was so peaceful and beautiful up there, and my time was well spent.
After that, I came down and drove down to Melrose Ave. in Hollywood, where my time (and money) was not as well spent.
I was captivated by all the trendy, chic, hipster shops that line the street, and I was hypnotized into consumerism. I bought 2 t shirts and a beanie. Which were all pretty expensive.
I am still disappointed in myself. I realize that materialism is one of my weaknesses. I dont need a lot of things, but i often really crave a few things that will present an image to the world around me that i put a lot of my identity into.
Not good, Jacob
I concluded that I need to stop going to places where I know I will be tempted by image, consumerism and 'coolness'
I want to spend my money wisely, and when I am by myself in places like Hollywood, Echo Park, Silverlake.....I am not apt to do so.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
we were born to see what is perfect
and to hear what is perfect.
in the beginning, we know it
but the knowledge dissolves fast
and we spent the rest of our lives forgetting
.....
Jairus had a 12 year old daughter. She was lying in bed, warm with blankets in the dark room. Just a little bit of light fell on her face. It was a soft face, eyes closed, mouth closed. There was the sound of crying, sobbing. A murmur of voices and groans. She lay with both her arms at her sides. Her chest did not go up and down from breath. She was still.
Jesus came in. He sat next to her. He looked at her. He remembered her skinny legs and tangled hair, tied back. He remembered how when she was younger she ran with the older girls through the dust, watching them play games and whisper loudly, giggling. He remembered when she shot sly glances across the synagogue to her friend on the other side of the room...a playful knowing smirk. He remembered when her mother placed her weathered hands on hers, and gently pressed them into the dough, pressing it down and out across the table. And how she looked back into her mother's eyes and smiled, a stand of hair hanging down across her face.
Jesus sighed, a small smile, a warm eye. He took her hand....
and to hear what is perfect.
in the beginning, we know it
but the knowledge dissolves fast
and we spent the rest of our lives forgetting
.....
Jairus had a 12 year old daughter. She was lying in bed, warm with blankets in the dark room. Just a little bit of light fell on her face. It was a soft face, eyes closed, mouth closed. There was the sound of crying, sobbing. A murmur of voices and groans. She lay with both her arms at her sides. Her chest did not go up and down from breath. She was still.
Jesus came in. He sat next to her. He looked at her. He remembered her skinny legs and tangled hair, tied back. He remembered how when she was younger she ran with the older girls through the dust, watching them play games and whisper loudly, giggling. He remembered when she shot sly glances across the synagogue to her friend on the other side of the room...a playful knowing smirk. He remembered when her mother placed her weathered hands on hers, and gently pressed them into the dough, pressing it down and out across the table. And how she looked back into her mother's eyes and smiled, a stand of hair hanging down across her face.
Jesus sighed, a small smile, a warm eye. He took her hand....
look up
on the roof of a four-story school
the city skyline with skyscrapers and mountains and sighing neighborhoods...
children playing basketball and jumprope up here, high above it
there is a falcon flying over us. As we look up and begin to follow it with our eyes, our focus is inturrupted by the sound of a helicopter..it swoops down sharply above the falcon and suddenly the bird is gone.
all thats left is the helicopter.
the city skyline with skyscrapers and mountains and sighing neighborhoods...
children playing basketball and jumprope up here, high above it
there is a falcon flying over us. As we look up and begin to follow it with our eyes, our focus is inturrupted by the sound of a helicopter..it swoops down sharply above the falcon and suddenly the bird is gone.
all thats left is the helicopter.
incomplete
he gently put his hands around my crown, and started to take it off slowly as his eyes told me it will be ok....
panicking, i grabbed it from him, pleading, no, its mine, i need it.
i needed to have my crown. I needed to be powerful. I needed to win, to control, to succeed.
the children need to win at soccer. They need to impress a girl. They need to make something, to own something.
i will be a child until i understand that He took the crown from me becasue it really belonged to Him.
panicking, i grabbed it from him, pleading, no, its mine, i need it.
i needed to have my crown. I needed to be powerful. I needed to win, to control, to succeed.
the children need to win at soccer. They need to impress a girl. They need to make something, to own something.
i will be a child until i understand that He took the crown from me becasue it really belonged to Him.
Monday, February 14, 2005
word
One Love to our sister, Sister Dorothy Stang, missionary in Brazil who was slain this last weekend for her efforts on behalf of the poor in Brazil struggling against loggers and ranchers and speculators to keep the land that was their livlihood and sustenance. Truly, her life and obedience was precious in God's sight. Now that she is home with her Lord, her life (and death) remind us what are the true marks of a disciple.
We have asked ourselves, are we truly following Jesus if the powers of injustice are comfortable with us?
"Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. 23Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven; for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets. " Luke 6:22-23
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/02/12/nun.shot.reut/index.html
This weekend was a lot of fun, and a lot of learning. Thank you, God, for being Truth to us and for leading us through the refining fire together.
I am grateful for the family that God has placed me in at this season of my life. I learn so much all the time from all of you, and I see God uniquely in all of you. praise Him!
I hope that our hearts will be good soil this week, making a place for God's word to do what it was intended to do....
We have asked ourselves, are we truly following Jesus if the powers of injustice are comfortable with us?
"Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. 23Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven; for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets. " Luke 6:22-23
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/02/12/nun.shot.reut/index.html
This weekend was a lot of fun, and a lot of learning. Thank you, God, for being Truth to us and for leading us through the refining fire together.
I am grateful for the family that God has placed me in at this season of my life. I learn so much all the time from all of you, and I see God uniquely in all of you. praise Him!
I hope that our hearts will be good soil this week, making a place for God's word to do what it was intended to do....
Friday, February 11, 2005
Character
i am about to begin a weekend-long seminar with servant partners in LA, being taught by Kevin Rhodes. We heard his first talk last night, and it was off the hinges. He really blew me away, and his message was a word from God i had been waiting to hear and will need to hear clearly every day from now to the next.
humility
the hope that comes from having nothing of your own
it promises to be a pivotal time, if the soil is right
humility
the hope that comes from having nothing of your own
it promises to be a pivotal time, if the soil is right
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Ash Wednesday and Chinese New Year
today was the fullest day i've had in a long time. i feel that satisfied-and-exhausted-after-a-long-day-at-work feeling.
for real though, it is only because of God that i am able to get through a day like this....I was thinking back to when i was working as a TA during college....my work ethic, my maturity, my emotional stability.....God has really been by my side like a father, raising me up from the child that i was. i guess i still am a child, but you know....
I had been organizing a talent show for the kids at Walden's after school. This turned out to be a lot of stress, but it was fun. as the MC having to organize which kids would perform at what times, and deal with all the unexpected stage frights, lack of props and general chaos that is involved with working with kids---I was totally worn out at the end. but it went as well as could be expected with the limited time i had gievn myself to work on it. the kids liked it. parents liked it.
then we took the youth from our bible studies in NWN to a youth fellowship in Eagle Rock. I really like getting togehter with all the other youth that i dont normally see. it makes it feel a lot more like a community. i wish i was more in touch with what was going on with everyone....but maybe its just that i am used to knowing everything about a group of kids becasue it is a part of the jobs i have had.
When we go to Eagle Rock, Frankie, George, Juan and Arturo (all 8th and 9th grade youth that i am closest to and in my bible study) all rush to ride with me becasue we bump Tupac full blast in my car with the windows down on the 134 freeway. We roll with the wind blowing through the car, just listening to Tupac, and they are all so quiet and intent...you can tell it is a brief time that they really enjoy...
i enjoy it too
for real though, it is only because of God that i am able to get through a day like this....I was thinking back to when i was working as a TA during college....my work ethic, my maturity, my emotional stability.....God has really been by my side like a father, raising me up from the child that i was. i guess i still am a child, but you know....
I had been organizing a talent show for the kids at Walden's after school. This turned out to be a lot of stress, but it was fun. as the MC having to organize which kids would perform at what times, and deal with all the unexpected stage frights, lack of props and general chaos that is involved with working with kids---I was totally worn out at the end. but it went as well as could be expected with the limited time i had gievn myself to work on it. the kids liked it. parents liked it.
then we took the youth from our bible studies in NWN to a youth fellowship in Eagle Rock. I really like getting togehter with all the other youth that i dont normally see. it makes it feel a lot more like a community. i wish i was more in touch with what was going on with everyone....but maybe its just that i am used to knowing everything about a group of kids becasue it is a part of the jobs i have had.
When we go to Eagle Rock, Frankie, George, Juan and Arturo (all 8th and 9th grade youth that i am closest to and in my bible study) all rush to ride with me becasue we bump Tupac full blast in my car with the windows down on the 134 freeway. We roll with the wind blowing through the car, just listening to Tupac, and they are all so quiet and intent...you can tell it is a brief time that they really enjoy...
i enjoy it too
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
The picture i posted below was very powerful to me in today's paper, and i think should tell us something about the kind of grief (and belief) that Lauren preached about Sunday night. It is very close to home.
here is the link to the LA Times article about Devin Brown's shooting.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-shoot8feb08,0,3872370.story?coll=la-home-local
This is some major sh--- and I hope that we who are residents of this city do not stay quiet about it. Whatever happened to 'Freeze, put your hands up and get out of the car' ? Or shooting the tires out? 13 years old, unarmed, shot 10 times and killed by LAPD.
Also.....if anyone has any thoughts on the new budget that Bush has unveiled, please post them up. I am at a loss for words at this point becasue i dont know where to start. It makes me so angry.
Lets go ahead and take billions of dollars away from the poor and working class and spend more money we dont have on building and maintaining weapons, destroying the environment to dig up oil, and more Border Patrol agents to keep 'aliens' out of 'our' country.
And give the rich a tax break, becasue of course, we cant expect them to have to pay for all of this.
here is the link to the LA Times article about Devin Brown's shooting.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-shoot8feb08,0,3872370.story?coll=la-home-local
This is some major sh--- and I hope that we who are residents of this city do not stay quiet about it. Whatever happened to 'Freeze, put your hands up and get out of the car' ? Or shooting the tires out? 13 years old, unarmed, shot 10 times and killed by LAPD.
Also.....if anyone has any thoughts on the new budget that Bush has unveiled, please post them up. I am at a loss for words at this point becasue i dont know where to start. It makes me so angry.
Lets go ahead and take billions of dollars away from the poor and working class and spend more money we dont have on building and maintaining weapons, destroying the environment to dig up oil, and more Border Patrol agents to keep 'aliens' out of 'our' country.
And give the rich a tax break, becasue of course, we cant expect them to have to pay for all of this.
Monday, February 07, 2005
just another manic....
hey everyone
its monday. i learned today that in 1992, the buildings that stood on the ground that the Accelerated School now sits on were burned to the ground in the Riots. Now, in 2005, The Accelerated School stands, a $44 million dollar beacon of hope, standing defiantly against the forces that threaten to consume everything else in South LA. A safe place, a refuge.
today was filled with a lot of getting to know my co-workers a lot better. At TAS, we had a pupil free day, in which all the teachers, admin and IAs got together to discuss and plan out the rest of the semester. We began our meeting with each person going around and saying our name and something positive that has come out of our experience working with kids. it was a very inspiring thing for me to hear what the other teachers are saying and expereincing from their kids. Really, I am so grateful to God for this place. I am grateful for the chance to work here. There is a sense of community, a sense of justice being done. What impresses me is that whenever i hear any TAS teacher talk about TAS or their students, they almost never mention the fact that these kids are 'at risk' or live in 'a rough neighborhood' The teachers talk about their kids as simply kids, human beings with potential to succeed. This brings so much dignity to them, because it dismantles the whole notion that only middle-class suburban kids are the 'norm' At TAS, people are creating an environment where children and their families are empowered in their community.
I was blessed to really get some quality time with the other 2nd grade IAs. I usually dont get time to socialize with them becasue we always have to watch our kids. I love it becasue they are actually from the neighborhood...they grew up in the same areas as the kids at TAS, and are now most of them going to Cal State LA. A lot of us are in the same boat, trying to decide whether we want to teach or not. I really relate to them in a way that is close to my heart and reminds me a lot of back home, when I was more in contact with my own home community in Albuquerque when i was in middle school.
Then after work at Walden, I was invited by two of my co-workers to their house in Duarte where they cooked some manicotti and made angelfood cake for my visit. It was good to just recieve some hospitality from friends from work-peers who are non-christian.
--------
Big ups to M-sizzle and the homies last night for the Fatburger and the conversation.
---------
Babylon, you shall have no more of my tears!
Babylon, my children will escape from your cold hands!
fight for me blindly, fight for me, knowing I will again forget you.
a warm flame
a dying seed
a strong gentle hand moving tear-soaked hair away from another's forehead
why did i never go to the small villages in New Mexico in the winter?
the lonliness was too cold.
the sense of call to another place was too unsettling.
so i turned my back on the mesas, mountains and arroyos
as have many who came before me.
yo he perdido mi cara en los espejos de la tierra
tantos recuerdos
tantas lagrimas
todas mis lagrimas estan corriendo hasta un nacion nuevo, una patria desconocido.
its monday. i learned today that in 1992, the buildings that stood on the ground that the Accelerated School now sits on were burned to the ground in the Riots. Now, in 2005, The Accelerated School stands, a $44 million dollar beacon of hope, standing defiantly against the forces that threaten to consume everything else in South LA. A safe place, a refuge.
today was filled with a lot of getting to know my co-workers a lot better. At TAS, we had a pupil free day, in which all the teachers, admin and IAs got together to discuss and plan out the rest of the semester. We began our meeting with each person going around and saying our name and something positive that has come out of our experience working with kids. it was a very inspiring thing for me to hear what the other teachers are saying and expereincing from their kids. Really, I am so grateful to God for this place. I am grateful for the chance to work here. There is a sense of community, a sense of justice being done. What impresses me is that whenever i hear any TAS teacher talk about TAS or their students, they almost never mention the fact that these kids are 'at risk' or live in 'a rough neighborhood' The teachers talk about their kids as simply kids, human beings with potential to succeed. This brings so much dignity to them, because it dismantles the whole notion that only middle-class suburban kids are the 'norm' At TAS, people are creating an environment where children and their families are empowered in their community.
I was blessed to really get some quality time with the other 2nd grade IAs. I usually dont get time to socialize with them becasue we always have to watch our kids. I love it becasue they are actually from the neighborhood...they grew up in the same areas as the kids at TAS, and are now most of them going to Cal State LA. A lot of us are in the same boat, trying to decide whether we want to teach or not. I really relate to them in a way that is close to my heart and reminds me a lot of back home, when I was more in contact with my own home community in Albuquerque when i was in middle school.
Then after work at Walden, I was invited by two of my co-workers to their house in Duarte where they cooked some manicotti and made angelfood cake for my visit. It was good to just recieve some hospitality from friends from work-peers who are non-christian.
--------
Big ups to M-sizzle and the homies last night for the Fatburger and the conversation.
---------
Babylon, you shall have no more of my tears!
Babylon, my children will escape from your cold hands!
fight for me blindly, fight for me, knowing I will again forget you.
a warm flame
a dying seed
a strong gentle hand moving tear-soaked hair away from another's forehead
why did i never go to the small villages in New Mexico in the winter?
the lonliness was too cold.
the sense of call to another place was too unsettling.
so i turned my back on the mesas, mountains and arroyos
as have many who came before me.
yo he perdido mi cara en los espejos de la tierra
tantos recuerdos
tantas lagrimas
todas mis lagrimas estan corriendo hasta un nacion nuevo, una patria desconocido.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
here is a link to a very interesting article that Bill Moyers wrote about right-wing Christianity and theology mixing with modern American politics.
http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=41&ItemID=7158
Bill Moyers is a pretty well-respected progressive commentator/journalist/ documentarian/historian
http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=41&ItemID=7158
Bill Moyers is a pretty well-respected progressive commentator/journalist/ documentarian/historian
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
i make sucka MCs uncomfortable
i dont know, i just like that line. I will defenitely use it in a rhyme sometime.
It has been a long time since I have blogged. Life has been hapening very fast, and I have been doing more thinking on my own without a journal or a computer. It is rare for me to have lapses in journaling like this, but a lot of it has to do with how strapped i've been for time i have been recently. Plus, i have been processing a lot of stuff that is more personal than i am willing to put on here.
Thanks to all of you who read this regularly. All the homies
Today at TAS, my reading group went exceptionally well. I have been a little frustrated recently with how it had been going. I felt like I was starting to get boring and unmotivating to the kids, and i was beginning to hear sighs and rolled eyes when it would be their turn to come to my group. I wanted to change that, so I decided that even if i was still feeling tired and the coffee had not taken its effect, that i would muster up all the enthusiasm i could and try to model the enthusiastic character and charisma of the teacher i work with. it has worked so far. the kids are more focused, they are interested and learning more.
I think it comes down to a matter of really using what i already have. I think that God is trying to urge me on to being more awar of the gifts i have, and to use them consciously and in a responsible, mature way. One of these is teaching/working with kids. It is in me, i just need to be intentional about using it.
We have been reading a story from the reading textbook called 'The Big Bushy Moustache' In which a Mexican-American boy gets tired of people telling him he looks like his mother, and decides to steal a prop moustache from the school play in order to go home and impress his dad, hoping that people will think he looks like his dad.
The kids in my class have really liked it so far.
Also, something that has been happening recently is that I have been overseeing/refereeing organized soccer games among the 2nd grade boys. This has been a stressful but feun experience. It is fun watching them really get into it, and develop a sense of camraderie with each other (even though at age 7 and 8 they really need to work on sportsmanship) They love imagining themselves as the great Mexican club teams like Pumas and Chivas and Veracruz
At Walden, things have been so so much better than they were last semester. God has really blessed me there this month-- and i can see now why he may have wanted me to stay.
I have really gained the trust of the 5th and 6th graders-- which is no easy task, and has let to me really gaining a lot of confidence for myself and my own feelings about my job there, but also i have begun to have influence on them, which is such a great feeling. Havign influence on children as an adult is not a given, especially when the context is very loose and informal as this after school program is. The kids at TAS give me their trust qucik becasue 1. they are younger 2. i came into the role of 'teacher' At Walden, I had no ready authority handed to me. Thatwas part of why i was frustrated. But now that i am more confident and assured in my relationships with the older kids, it has even boosted my confidence with my boss-- and things have been much better with him, too. Not to mention my co-workers, who have even begun initiating friendship outside of work.
It is all gravy
other than that, there is much. many thoughts, about my life, my persona, my social life/character, my ministry, my family, my relationships......too much to put down here.
I am relieved these days to see that God is still working through me. I have hope
It has been a long time since I have blogged. Life has been hapening very fast, and I have been doing more thinking on my own without a journal or a computer. It is rare for me to have lapses in journaling like this, but a lot of it has to do with how strapped i've been for time i have been recently. Plus, i have been processing a lot of stuff that is more personal than i am willing to put on here.
Thanks to all of you who read this regularly. All the homies
Today at TAS, my reading group went exceptionally well. I have been a little frustrated recently with how it had been going. I felt like I was starting to get boring and unmotivating to the kids, and i was beginning to hear sighs and rolled eyes when it would be their turn to come to my group. I wanted to change that, so I decided that even if i was still feeling tired and the coffee had not taken its effect, that i would muster up all the enthusiasm i could and try to model the enthusiastic character and charisma of the teacher i work with. it has worked so far. the kids are more focused, they are interested and learning more.
I think it comes down to a matter of really using what i already have. I think that God is trying to urge me on to being more awar of the gifts i have, and to use them consciously and in a responsible, mature way. One of these is teaching/working with kids. It is in me, i just need to be intentional about using it.
We have been reading a story from the reading textbook called 'The Big Bushy Moustache' In which a Mexican-American boy gets tired of people telling him he looks like his mother, and decides to steal a prop moustache from the school play in order to go home and impress his dad, hoping that people will think he looks like his dad.
The kids in my class have really liked it so far.
Also, something that has been happening recently is that I have been overseeing/refereeing organized soccer games among the 2nd grade boys. This has been a stressful but feun experience. It is fun watching them really get into it, and develop a sense of camraderie with each other (even though at age 7 and 8 they really need to work on sportsmanship) They love imagining themselves as the great Mexican club teams like Pumas and Chivas and Veracruz
At Walden, things have been so so much better than they were last semester. God has really blessed me there this month-- and i can see now why he may have wanted me to stay.
I have really gained the trust of the 5th and 6th graders-- which is no easy task, and has let to me really gaining a lot of confidence for myself and my own feelings about my job there, but also i have begun to have influence on them, which is such a great feeling. Havign influence on children as an adult is not a given, especially when the context is very loose and informal as this after school program is. The kids at TAS give me their trust qucik becasue 1. they are younger 2. i came into the role of 'teacher' At Walden, I had no ready authority handed to me. Thatwas part of why i was frustrated. But now that i am more confident and assured in my relationships with the older kids, it has even boosted my confidence with my boss-- and things have been much better with him, too. Not to mention my co-workers, who have even begun initiating friendship outside of work.
It is all gravy
other than that, there is much. many thoughts, about my life, my persona, my social life/character, my ministry, my family, my relationships......too much to put down here.
I am relieved these days to see that God is still working through me. I have hope
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