selah

Streams of tears flow from my eyes because your law is not obeyed
Psalm 119:136

she gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her:
'You are the God who sees me'
for she said
'i have now seen the One who sees me.'
Genesis 16:13

Today I got a taste of why it is hard to live in the city. Dory, the teacher in whise class i work (The Accelerated Shcool), was walking from her car to the school, not even one block....and there were some youth hanging out in front of a house across from the school. A boy had a gun, and he was pointing it at cars as they drove by. When they saw it, a handful of girls screamed and ran away. Dory came onto campus shaken, afraid, and holding back tears.
As she told me, I wanted to comfort her with a hug, but i didnt....unsure of what to do. Maria, a girl in our class came up to me, oblivious to what we were talking about, and held my hand. I squeezed it tight and smiled at her.
Throughout the day, I had to deal with kids who were fighting (which happens often) and name calling and lying. When kids lie to me, even about small things, it really upsets and saddens me. They are just old enough to be able and willing to lie deliberately, and it just makes me sad that this brokenness would already be a part of them.
Then, as a few girls were having conflict on the playground and avoiding each other, I learned from Adriana, one of the girls who was avoiding her friends and one of my favorite in the class, that she is learning from her church (a cult??) not to associate with people who dont go to church, or wear makeup and earrings. The way she was reciting judgemental statements she must have heard made me feel more a sense of spiritual need and even darkness.
Yesterday at Walden School, talking to Ian, (a 13 year old whose parents bought him 900$ worth of DJ equipment) he was telling me about how in public schools, he believes that 98% of the populations are "gangsters" and "crime people" and how if you go to public schools, "no one cares about you" and in Los Angeles (the "ghetto") the houses are all burned, and people shoot each other for no reason.


Class and race divide this city into two different worlds, and they are so separated, so vastly alienated from each other that it blow my mind.

OLord, that you would make right and bring togther. That they would see the One who sees them.