pray

this job has gotten real live real fast

today Sean told me "If God could raise Lazarus from the dead and heal people, why can't he heal me....I hate him even more if he can do it, becasue that means that he just doesnt want to."

i really want to believe that God will heal him. I would love to be put out of a job. i am scared, though. His family are beleivers, and i am sure that they have prayed for years for him. i am sure that many people have. What would it take, God? What will it take for you to heal him?

Right before he told me this stuff, we had been talking about God and Christianity in America. He agrees with me that the God of the bible-- the God who is powerful and heals people--is not the God of the American church. But he will not have faith in God, becasue he is afraid of trusting him only to be disappointed when God does not come through for him.

I wish i could have taken all afternoon to finish this conversation. What can i do? It is interesting that these conversations take place in the nurse's office, the only time when we are alone, and i am changing his daiper. It is interesting becasue it is a time where he is the most vunerable, the most exposed and dependent. It would be a very awkward time if we did not have the relationship that we do.
Would that he see something of God's love for him in the tenderness and humility of those that care for him. Would that we be humble and tender.