posting from New Mexico

here i am, back home. This home is a place that is stranger to me each time I come back. yet, the familiarity is always nice.
I love the air here. To me, the air in Pasadena is thick and muggy. It is in a valley. I love Albuquerque becasue it is high in the desert. The air is clean, fresh and crisp, even when its hot outside. The first morning i was here, i took the best deep breath i've had in a long time.

The drive in was not too bad. 12 1/2 hours. I didnt get too tired.

The pace of life is much slower here. For some reason, it seems more like a small town than the last time i was here.

I will probably go see my grandparents tonight.

Hopefully i will also have some time to reflect. Right before i left, I accepted a job at South Pasadena High school, as a Special Needs Aid. I will be working exlusively with Sean, a 16 year old with cerebral palsey. He has almost no physical ability, so i will go with him to classes, take notes for him, transcribe his homework, take him to the bathroom....
This will be challenging work, but the prospect of developing a friendship that would probably otherwise not occur is exciting to me.
I have also been thinking a lot about adolescence and the youth. I think i have been very frustrated with the 14-15 year old age bracket. Since being home with my 15 year old brother, this has greatly increased. I guess i struggle with really understanding and having patience for where they are emotionally, developmentally, socially. I really want to love them, but often this is a challenge. Even though i am often confused and troubled by them and the things i see in their lives, I am anticipating really good relationships with J and F this year, as i hope to get to know their families and school lives. I pray that they (and I) would be open to God's words and will. Also for my brother. I was thinking last night that really, my absence for the crucial 10 to 14 years old age range had a bigger effect on him than i thought. I think that if i had been there to be a friend, a guide, a mentor to my brother, then he would be a different person, or at least a little more well adjusted and emotionally stable...maybe even mature.

This is hard to think about, but i think i need to face it. I need to understand what it means that i have re-located and chosen God's will in another place far from home....