Current

i have not been posting a lot recently. i think that it has been harder for me to make sense of my life, as my life has become more and more scheduled, compartmentalized.

I heard a beautiful song this morning. Damien Jurado, "Medication" . It was about a man who is trying to balance taking care of his mentally unstable brother with his own hectic life. it was very tender, and honest.

one thing that has me frustrated these days is this-- i am deeply involved in the lives of 3 young men. J and F from my neighborhood and Sean from South Pas. Each day, i see sean transforming into a compassionate, socially aware, well-balanced individual with a love for learning. It really really frustrates me that i do not see J and F changing that quickly. Or that i dont have the opportunity to spend as much time with them as i do with Sean. And i want to much to see them transformed by God's love. For that matter, i want so much for MYSELF to be transformed by God's love, yet i scarcely see it each day as each day seems to be exactly like the one that came before.

i am reminded of a verse in Habakkuk:

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.