i have been seeing how much i feed off of bread that is not given from God.
I feed myself with attention and affection from others. If I can impress the people that are important to me, then that means i am valuable.

I think this is common. It is common becasue so many of us grow up not really understanding that we can be loved unconditionally, that we have inherent worth and value. So we create a persona that can be crafted and manipulated over time to recieve the maximum affection and attention from those around us. We groom it, and as we groom it, we go farther and farther away from our heart, our true self.

I am finding that place, and i am finding God dwelling there. But like Biggie Smalls said, its an everyday struggle.